Grief
The Second Loss
“The soul has been given its own ears to hear things the mind does not understand.”
Share This Reflection
Share This Wisdom
“In the heart's vast chambers, the value of what we have echoes twice: once when present, and again in its absence.”
When someone dies, there are two losses. The first is the person. The second is the future you imagined with them.
The second loss is often the one that ambushes you. Months later, years later, you find yourself grieving not just who they were but who they would have been. The conversations you will never have. The milestones they will not witness. The ordinary Tuesday afternoons that will never happen.
This is not a sign that you are stuck. It is a sign that your love was real and forward-looking. You loved not just the person as they were but the person as they were becoming.
Both losses are real. Both deserve to be mourned.
Save This Wisdom
More in Grief
View all Grief reflections →Related Reflections
Themes that often travel alongside grief.